Burger King offers Prince Harry a job

Blatant nepotism.

Johnson celebrates Conservative victory

"Loves, Labour's Lost!"

Thousands of holes found on seafloor off California coast

"And though the holes were rather small, they had to count them all."

Trump Orders Toilet Rule Review, Saying People Flush 10 Times

Only those who are full of shit.

A Third of California Methane Traced to a Few Super-Emitters

How did they find me out?

Groundbreaking fossils reveal how life retook Earth after the dinosaurs

Groundbreaking fossils? Zombie alert!

Dogs credited with busting two men in Connecticut with 420 lbs of marijuana

An appropriate quantity.

Rats find driving tiny cars relaxing, scientists report

They soon won't, once more of them join the rat race.

Giant Hunter's Moon looms over the Northern Hemisphere and is captured in spectacular photographs

Pity: I was hoping to go giant hunting tonight.

Shepard Smith makes shocking announcement that he is leaving Fox News

To avoid the nominal conflict of interest with his employer?

How Do Compasses Tell Which Way Is North at the South Pole?

Very easily. At the South Pole, every way is North.

Iceberg larger than Los Angeles breaks off Antarctic shelf

AI has its limitations: Google News reported this as local news!

How to weigh a whale without a scale

Take it to a whale-weigh station?

Five-year-old boy made to get out of wheelchair and walk by staff at Legoland

A miracle!

Cop’s Tesla runs out of battery power during high-speed chase

No charge for pursuer or pursued.