Student Fatally Shoots Himself in Professor's Office

Was he rehearsing Scene I of The Philanthropist?

Flagler Co. Releases Sex Offender List for Halloween

Ooh! Scary! Which one shall I dress as?

One in 10 inmates is sex offender

That's the proportion on arrival. It's larger on release.

Hotelier to Hispanic workers: Change names

Well, would you want to be served by Manuel?

Why experts say younger, smarter wives make for a long marriage

Because old ones die soon and stupid ones become tiresome.  Duh!

Madoff investor drowns in Florida pool

Those who swim with the sharks will sink with them too...

25% jump in cross-Border shopping - survey

The other 75% just walk, though.

Apology doesn't satisfy cited 'non-English-speaking driver'

Because it wasn't in Spanish?

Big Treasury Auctions Loom

No more woven money?