Saturday, February 27, 2010

Police appeal to murder suspect

No, I won't do their dirty work for them.

Olympic notebook: Canon, Nikon get in the picture

Olympus, of course, was already there...

Tears Flow as Whale Shows Resume

I doubt if he'll find a new job.

BA trains strike crew

They should have stayed off the tracks.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Oxfam suspends programme in China

One hour later, their clients were always hungry again.

Lula: Fidel Castro is "Exceptionally Well"

Implying that he's normally sick?

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Man Indicted for Breaking 'Into' Prison

If found guilty, will he be evicted?

Whitney Houston 'Dreadful' Down Under

I really didn't need to know that.

Man Hit by Train Twice in 2 Weeks in California

Keep trying, maybe it'll be third time lucky.

New Dinosaur Species Discovered in Utah


20 years for mum who gassed children

That's quicker than waiting for them to graduate college...

Friday, February 19, 2010

What's Behind America's Falling Crime Rate

The gradual legalization of pot?

Thursday, February 18, 2010

U.N. finds clues Iran is trying to build nuke

Wasn't there something similar with the U.S. and Iraq?

Obama Unveils Plan for Commission to Tackle Federal Deficit

How much commission does he plan to take?

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Google Buys Social Search Company Aardvark

They're taking over the alphabetical order.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Valentine's Day Bust: Cocaine Roses

Are they like opium poppies?

Haitians cancel Carnival celebration

This year, Lent began early in Haiti.

Wrong flag used in Fromelles burials

Oops. Dig them up and do it again.

FAA May Slap American Airlines With Record Fine

So that's why they need to start charging for blankets?

Suspect Plays 'Dating Game' Video in Murder Trial

An insanity defense?

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Monday, February 8, 2010

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Police paying for officer lap-band surgery


Mortgage Bankers Association Sells Headquarters at Big Loss

Could they have saved money by foreclosing on themselves?

Friday, February 5, 2010

Monkey spotted roaming Darwin streets

He's a long way from Manly.

Proposed Hebrew-language school dealt a setback

That should help, not hurt, them...

‘Days of Our Lives’ star Frances Reid dies at 95

In her case, 34,756.

Christmas Bomb Suspect Flips on Radical Imam

Pity he didn't just flip him off...

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Tea Party convention begins in Nashville

How will the Coffee Party fight back?

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

National Prayer Breakfast Draws Controversy

Why do the Quakers have all the oats?

Giant Squids Lure California Fishing Enthusiasts

Isn't it supposed to work the other way round?

LaHood: Stop Driving Recalled Toyotas

How? Wait till they run out of gas?

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Why a spot of sunbathing may be just the thing to lift a man's libido

Obviously, it's the female sunbathers.

Shakespeare's Death Ruled 'Homicidal Violence'

Was it a star-crossed lover's revenge?

Man offered degrees for spanking

M.A.= Master of Ass?

Indonesian man loses six teeth when cigarette explodes

Now that's a clever way to discourage smoking.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Rare ailment makes girl, 13, look like she’s 50

Your Honor, the defense rests.

Global Chip Sales Fell in 2009

It's all that bad press about trans fats.

Baptists Say They Were Trying to Do Good in Haiti

Something the Quakers can hardly say.

Plan to halve smokers in 10 years

Stop treating their diseases?