Headlines: Aug 25

Review of alleged detainee abuse to have narrow scope
In what orifices was it allegedly inserted?

Royal Opera, Bayreuth To Release Wagner DVSs
Are those digital video six-packs?
 
Venomous Snake On The Loose In Florida
Don’t worry, the gators will get it.

Uncertainty Surrounds Iran's Nuclear Capability
Yes, it’s called the Heisenberg principle.

Karzai, chief rival neck and neck in Afghan vote
Soon they’ll be in bed together...

US Chamber of Commerce seeks trial on global warming
Turn the heat up two degrees and see what happens?