Miss California: 'God chose me'

And not the judges?

Huge Sinkhole Traps a Hundred Residents

Why doesn't someone fetch them a ladder?

Uninsured More Likely to Die, Study Finds

Yes, that's why they couldn't get insurance.

Aussies would give up sex before internet

Sex after internet is better, anyway.

Illinois motorist painting fingernails when cyclist was fatally struck

Now more than her nails are red.

Suspect in killing of woman at Yale is called 'control freak'

Pity he couldn't control himself...

Spain indicts alleged 3 ex-Nazis for genocide

Aren't they really being indicted for having lived too long?

Pig herd catches human swine flu

Of course, they call it people flu.

Pang's Death Allegedly Linked to Drugs

Were they painkillers?