Thursday, August 27, 2009

Headlines: Aug 27

FDIC Fund Shrinks Amid Rising Bank Failures
To help when bankers go bonkers?

Man drowns in fishing contest at Rend Lake
Sometimes, the fish wins.

Website calculates risk of dying
That's easy.  It's 100%.

Pink Slip Party in Jacksonville
Can I go in pajamas instead?

Doer steps down as Manitoba premier
I guess he's done now.

Study: Scent of Cut Grass Is Calming, Boosts Memory
Is that cut with tobacco or something else?

After JFK assassination, Edward Kennedy never visited Dallas
I don't suppose Mrs Lincoln went back to the theater, either.

Pair of fronts could bring some heat relief to Houston
Are those Y-fronts?

Air Rifle Boy Was Shot At Makeshift Range
Is that nearer or further than point-blank?

Auschwitz blueprints given to Israeli PM
As the person least likely to use them?

Historians make musical discovery on 16th Century carving
Grinling and Orlando Gibbons were related?

Milton Bradley lashes out
Don't worry, they'll be back in by game time...

Monkeys hold key to genetic cure
Throw them some bananas, they’ll probably let you grab it.

Astronomers find what appears to be a suicidal planet
Big deal. Environmentalists found one long ago.