Thursday, December 27, 2012

U.S. poised to go off 'fiscal cliff': Senator Reid

Well, at least we missed Planet Nibiru.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Former President, George H.W. Bush In Intensive Care

Expiring along with his son's tax cuts?

Friday, December 21, 2012

Put armed police in every school, NRA urges

How reassuring will that be for the children? And will they try to steal the guns? But at least we'll have better-educated cops.

Study: Hawaiian island slowly dissolving

I see the doom-and-gloom mongers are retrenching after today's big disappointment.

Maya 'doomsday' may actually be Sunday, archaeologist says

But they don't give up, do they? Happy New Baktun!

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

China makes 500 doomsday cult arrests

But will that prevent the Mayan Apocalypse?

Friday, December 7, 2012

The end of the world is nigh: PM Gillard confirms 2012 apocalypse

How many more suicides will these Australian jokers cause?

French scientists warn sperm counts falling for men

What did they expect, after years of helping the infertile to breed?

Private company Golden Spike plans to send space tourists to the moon for $1.4 billion per couple

And how much extra to come back?

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Guilty New Mexico prankster returns stolen toilet paper he took as a college student

Used, presumably.

$4M settlement reached after Connecticut mauled by chimp

Did New York ever settle with King Kong?

World won't end on December 21: NASA scientists

But they're not saying anything about the other dates in December.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

WikiLeaks founder Assange reportedly has lung infection

I see the polonium-210 has started to take effect...

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Attorney General’s Office To Prosecute Random Shooting Suspect

Well, it saves having to round up all the other usual suspects.

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

San Francisco lawmakers vote to ban public nudity

No more wearing just a flower in your hair.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Saturday, November 10, 2012

BBC chief resigns over false sex abuse report broadcast on Newsnight

Poor old BBC: damned when they air sex-abuse reports, and damned when they don't.

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Bounty crew member who died in hospital was Fletcher Christian descendant

Divine retribution upon the seventh generation?

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Hear the whale with a human-like voice

That is, if you consider Mr. Punch a human.

Hurricane Sandy still on track to deliver a major blow to East Coast

In more senses than one.

Friday, October 26, 2012

Obama video compares voting to losing virginity

So what is the equivalent of a hanging chad?

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Study Finds 88% of Sexual Content Posted by Young Folks Online Stolen by Porn Sites

How much does a researcher earn, looking at online porn?

N.J. town mourns as girl's body is found in recycling

As it is said: earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Specter laid to rest near Philadelphia

All in a day's work for Ghostbusters.

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

A Faded Piece of Papyrus Refers to Jesus’ Wife

An ancient piece of fan fiction?

Friday, September 7, 2012

Monday, August 27, 2012

Private Neil Armstrong service planned for Friday

US Army promotions are apparently harder to attain than the Moon.

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Badminton Players Disqualified for Throwing Matches

Quite right too. They could have started a fire.

Sunday, July 29, 2012

Friday, July 27, 2012

Colorado suspect was seeing psychiatrist, attorneys say

Giving them an insanity defense AND someone to sue!

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Romney Stumbles as He Kicks Off Overseas Trip

And puts his foot in his mouth, too.

Woman Forced to Sit Next to Dead Man in 10-Hour Flight From Hell

She was lucky to get out of there at all.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Obama: Washington feels as broken as it did four years ago

It could be worse...but if it is, he's not admitting it.

Friday, July 13, 2012

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Worm lifetime 'longer in space'

Yes, time stands still in those wormholes.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Queens Teacher Banned From City Schools For Over-The-Top Sex Ed Class

I don't know where to begin with this one...

Friday, June 8, 2012

U.S. Military Suicides in 2012: 155 Days, 154 Dead

Looks like they missed February 29.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Protesters link arms around the world to decry nuclear power

Thousands drown after someone on the beach gets a text.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Hostess' lingerie found in the room of the Costa Concordia captain

A new twist on "going down" with the ship?

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Disney changes dress code to allow employees to grow beards

Happy will be happy -- but Dopey won't care.