Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Headlines: Sep 1

Gay to have surgery after season
- Competing in the Women's League next year?

Report: Murdered Pastor Left Nude in 'Crucifix Position'
- What a place to leave one!  No wonder she was struck down.

Hamas leader denies Nazi genocide of Jews
- He wants to take the credit for himself?

Next Atlanta mayor could be white
- Why not?  It's happened before...

911 Tapes Released in Ga. Trailer Park Murders
- But the 912th is still a suspect.

Libya says Lockerbie bomber in hospital
- Oh, so now they admit he was the bomber?

Nigeria Indicts 5 Ousted Bank Chiefs
- Good.  Maybe now they'll stop emailing me about dormant accounts.

'I just think about climate change all the time. It's all I do'
- Get a life.

1 in 3 teenage girls tell of sexual abuse
- Fortunately, 2 in 3 still keep quiet.

Boeing Makes Executive Change
- Enforcing the company dress code across the board, I see.

Ban on production of old light bulbs begins
- Why ban the impossible?

UK teenage girls 'worst drunks'
- That's why I prefer older lushes.

TV Chef Pleads Guilty To Hare Coursing
- The traditional Jugged Hare recipe is now illegal.