Tourist Dies After Falling Into Active Bali Volcano

I guess he won't be needing a funeral...

An alligator ate my Amazon package

That happens when you order from the jungle. In any case, "Amazon package" is an oxymoron.

Lockerbie response 'disjointed'

But not as badly as the victims were.

Clear-Winged Woolly Bat Sings Like No Other

Sings what? Selections from Die Fledermaus? "Take Me Out to the Ball Game"?