Retail theft suspects grab merchandise from Dick’s Sporting Goods in Los Angeles Co.

Why not just call them thieves?

Italy recovers Etruscan artifacts worth $8.5 million bound for black market

Holy priceless collection of Etruscan snoods, Batman!

Dorothy’s ruby slippers from Oz expected to fetch $3.5m at auction

Other ways of getting to Kansas are slower, but thousands of times cheaper.

Mariah Carey loses her mother and sister on the same day

Lady Bracknell would have called that carelessness.

Trump gunman: An 'outcast' who wasn't let on school rifle team because he was 'a bad shooter'

In more ways than one, as it turned out.

Man caught smuggling 100 snakes in his trousers

Were they the one-eyed kind?

CIA Director Bill Burns in Egypt for Gaza cease-fire talks

Hopefully they'll succeed and put him out.

NOAA Declares a Global Coral Bleaching Event in 2023

That's way too late for anyone who might have wanted to take part in it.

Chinese space junk falls to Earth over Southern California, creating spectacular fireball

Did its solar sails fail?

Who is Don Hankey, the L.A. billionaire who financed Donald Trump’s appeal bond?

And is he connected with that POS from South Park?

Pope Francis skips Good Friday event at last minute ‘to preserve health’ for Easter rituals

But Jesus didn't.

Judy Garland’s home, bought the same year she signed ‘The Wizard of Oz’, selling for $11.5M

Is the high price because there's no other place quite like it?

Prince Harry Says He's 'Considered' Becoming a U.S. Citizen: 'I Love Every Single Day'

He'll have to renounce his foreign titles and become....

U.S. mixed up enemy, friendly drones in attack that killed 3 troops

Hmm, just like our mistake with the radar at Pearl Harbor....