Job Losses Moderate; Rate at 9.7%

That's moderate unemployment?

Space Junk Expected to Miss Space Station

She was impregnated by aliens?

Doctor had 'sickening' child porn

...but claims he was trying to cure it?

Obama Works Phones For Health Care Bill

Even the President has to take a second job these days...

Why the Rich Clip More Coupons Than the Poor

They can afford better scissors?

Transsexual wins move to women's jail

Begging the question: which way did s/he change?

Man injured in Cork stabbing

He must have very thin skin.

Poorly labelled alcohol leaves 'consumers in the dark'

Methanol or ethanol?  There's a big difference.

Cemetery search over dead babies

Good place to look for them...

Gates open to raising troop level in Afghanistan

They'll be hard to close...

U.S. Buys Pork to Support Industry

Barrels and barrels of it.

Police officer 'urinated' on poker machine

Hoping for a flush?

Whistleblower asks Queen for help

Wouldn't a younger person have stronger lungs?

Top 10 Computer Worms of All Time

I don't think I'll click on that webpage.

Feds detail who dies from swine flu

Playing God, as usual.