4,000 litres of alcohol seized at Dublin Port

Party tonight!

No Holocaust studies for Gaza students

Fair enough. Why give them ideas?

Sharing a bed 'is bad for your health'

So are most of life's other pleasures.

Wildfire more than twice the size of Sacramento

...but only produces half as much hot air.

Australia to probe E Timor deaths

Timor mortis conturbat me too.

Report says return to moon isn’t ‘viable’

That's what they said about the Apollo program too.

Teen sailor confident after 'scary' collision

Confident, but is she competent?

One-year-old girl has baby in stomach

Was she born pregnant, like a tribble?

Suicide main cause of death in 15 to 34-year-olds

As medicine advances, I hope to see that age range widen.

Cop's wife charged with hitting husband

Hardly the smartest thing for her to do, was it?

Cost of dying now £7,000, survey finds

But think of the money it saves.

9/9/9 'emergency' dateline set to spark wedding rush

That wasn't how it worked in the US on 9/11.

Ohio Judge Orders Shoplifters To Wear T-shirts

Aw, shucks, no more topless shoplifters.

Obama: 'We Intend To Get Something Done This Year'

...even if we don't know what it'll be?

Sudanese woman released from jail in trouser case

Is that smaller than a suitcase?