Man Who Strangled Wife During Dream Is Freed

I bet his cellmate is relieved.

Hundreds of sheep dead after truck crash

The exact number is unknown; no-one can stay awake long enough to count them.

Afghanistan is world's worst place to be born: UN

But a good place to die.

The Most Used Words in Sarah Palin's Book

By a journalist with nothing better to do than count them.

Emissions debate gets personal

"Who farted?"

Mammogram Guidelines Roundly Rejected

Because squarely wasn't appropriate?

DC Staff To Revive Nation's Oldest Gay Newspaper

The AC staff, however, are out in the cold.

Heart Disease Found in Egyptian Mummies

Unfortunately, too late to help them.

Roof topples in final stage of Dallas' Reunion Arena demolition

So what was holding it up?

Couples 'to have two IVF cycles'

So they can ride side by side?

Bomb disposal expert killed in blast

Expertise has its limits, apparently.

US shuttle takes worms into space

Hoping to create time-travel wormholes?

Nation's largest publisher of gay newspapers closes

But gloomy news still sells.

Feminists can be à la mode, says head

Can I have one with vanilla caramel fudge?

Gut disorder 'blamed on leaks'

Isn't it usually the other way round?