Porn actor sought in slaying threatens suicide

Is that a threat or a promise?

Cleveland's Anamika Veeramani wins Spelling Bee

Once she learned to spell her own name, she could spell anything.

John R. Wooden Award founder dies at 93 | Famed UCLA Basketball Coach John Wooden Dies at 99

Both on the same day--what were the odds of that?

What Makes Olive Oil Extra Virgin?

Certainly not Bluto.

Body in burning car was teenager

So were most bodies.

Water officials: A cleaner river would be more dangerous

Yes, people might swim in it.

Simple 'SQUID' Solution Could Contain Oil

I see BP has been reading my blog posts from yesterday...

Virgin music festivals cancelled in Canada

Couldn't they find any virgin musicians?

Nick's headlines -- now with links!

From now on, my headlines are linked to the underlying news pages. (NB: page headlines sometimes get updated, and all links eventually die.)

Public defender suspected of choking prosecutor

Well, attack is the best form of defense...

Could Nuclear Explosion Plug Oil Leak?

Or would it make it rain radioactive oil?

Man tried voodoo, black magic against prosecutor and investigators, authorities allege

Didn't work, did it?  But is that a crime?

Giant Shears to Try to Cut Oil Pipe

And if that doesn't work, they'll try to block it with a giant squid.

California voters back pot legalization, but support is shaky

Whatever...

Penalties for Bumping Air Passengers Increase

But it's their own fault when they stick their elbows out into the aisle.