World Cup Domestic Violence Warning

Ladies, don't touch that remote!

British twin sisters left seriously injured after attack by fox in their beds

Click the headline if you can't guess who reported this story.

Obama Seeking 'Ass to Kick'

But shouldn't he kick elephant?

Search for Stacy Peterson yields possum bones, no human remains

And those bones are only pretending to be dead...

Tenet Healthcare Drops Bid for Australian Healthscope

Is that a device that's inserted "down under?"

Obamas to attend Ford’s Theatre gala

After what happened to Lincoln, is that such a good idea?

Egyptian men married to Israelis may lose citizenship

That's not all they have to lose...

Porn actor suspected of murder jumps off cliff, dies after daylong standoff with police

I guess it was a promise...

Porn actor sought in slaying threatens suicide

Is that a threat or a promise?

Cleveland's Anamika Veeramani wins Spelling Bee

Once she learned to spell her own name, she could spell anything.

John R. Wooden Award founder dies at 93 | Famed UCLA Basketball Coach John Wooden Dies at 99

Both on the same day--what were the odds of that?

What Makes Olive Oil Extra Virgin?

Certainly not Bluto.

Body in burning car was teenager

So were most bodies.

Water officials: A cleaner river would be more dangerous

Yes, people might swim in it.

Simple 'SQUID' Solution Could Contain Oil

I see BP has been reading my blog posts from yesterday...