Roy Rogers' stuffed Trigger to be auctioned off

They're flogging a dead horse.

8 probed in Eiffel Tower souvenir racket

The Lavender Hill Mob are at it again?

Doctors amputated her wrong leg

So she can't even sue them now.

Top NY state bureaucrats earn nearly $128,000/year

While California's just get minimum wage.

Woman Fakes Own Death to Avoid Foreclosure

Now she just has to avoid burial....

Off-duty Coroners Save Choking Boy At Pa. Eatery

Altruism? Or laziness?

Blue Line train misrouted to Orange Line, bewildering riders

Except for the color-blind ones, who noticed nothing wrong.

Abbott's $1.5bn mental health plan 'crazy'

Yes, but a 'sane' plan would cost far more.

Quake strikes off Fiji

Oh dear, another nation deleted.

After Branch Kills Baby, New Yorkers Look Skyward

Bad idea. Traffic is much more dangerous than trees.

Lower IQs found in disease-rife countries, scientists claim

The smart people have emigrated.

Bear victim's daughter: Signs may have been removed

So what? The bear wouldn't have read them anyway.

Man and Woman Wanted for Store Burglaries

Shouldn't the job also be open to same-sex couples?

Anti-BP Protest Target Tate Art Gallery

Did they shout "oils out, watercolors in"?

French 'Hannibal': 30 Years for Eating Cell Mate

In solitary confinement, I hope.