Long Beach Police Standoff In Progress At Hotel

Isn't that an oxymoron?

Cash-strapped monks look to fully tap their baking power

So will they still be called friars?

Japan Announces Defense Policy to Counter China

Why are they talking to their crockery?

Jackknifed big-rig shuts down 22 freeway lanes

Now that's a BIG rig.

Obama meets with CEOs to urge them to start hiring

He's going to need a new job sometime...

Boat death toll set to rise, says PM

Yes, it's called "bloat and float".

TV meteorologist arrested for false sexual assault report

You just can't trust those forecasters.

Man killed after being pulled into wood chipper in Fallbrook

Rest in pieces.

Arizona police find fake patrol car with marijuana

Well, they say it's a fake.

Toddler rescued from toy crane machine in Pittsburgh mall

How many quarters did it take?

Missing Virginia girl found safe in San Francisco

But she's not a Virginian any more.

Goat Heads Left At Hyde Park Homes

And sheep heads right? That'll sort them!

Top 10 holiday threats for pets

Bad dog! Santa Claws will get you!

Exploding Qantas A380 engine had a 'potential defect', air safety bureau reports

But not an actual one?

Overcrowding in California's Prisons Reaches Supreme Court

And when that's full up, there's nowhere else.