Man Loses 392 Pounds After Seeing His Obese Reflection on TV Screen

That's why a real couch potato should NEVER turn off the tube.

Denver airport bans marijuana possession

So much for being the Mile High City.

Scientists Find Less Mercury in the Arctic Than Expected

Yes, it's called the thermometer effect.

Astronauts to Embark on Spacewalk

Shouldn't that be disembark?

Mandela's death likely to boost South African tourism

Were pro-Apartheid diehards staying away on his account?

Apple's Black Friday Discounts: Nothing For Any iPhone Or The Retina Mini

What a bargain!

California lawmakers seek to ban imitation firearms

Do they want us to play with real ones?

Will probe bring justice in town's rape scandal?

That rather depends on where it's inserted.

Child Found Handcuffed To Porch With Dead Chicken Around His Neck: Cops

Fowl play is suspected.

LeVar Burton on Google Glass: 'It disturbed me'

Isn't he used to hi-tech eyewear by now?

Hitchhiking virus confirms saga of ancient human migration

So hitchhiking's now recognized as a disease?

France fury at US phone surveillance

What Gallic gall! Who do they think invented 'espionage'?

Is Breathing in China as Bad as Smoking?

That depends how fine it's ground.

Dead baby found in Las Vegas casino trash bin

Which just goes to prove that what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

2 BART workers killed after being struck by train

When the workers strike, the trains strike back.