Satellite to begin gravity quest

Let's hope it finds just the right amount...

U.S. Taxpayers Pay Millions to Keep Despots Safe at U.N.

Money well spent. Who wants them roaming the streets?

Congress wary of 'plain vanilla' bank proposal

Wouldn't mint be more profitable?

Audio speakers get a new look and feel

Same old sound, though.

Invest in girls to end poverty

A good investment. They grow up in the most delightful way.

Rajiv Gandhi assassin begins fast

But can he keep up the pace?

Cops use stun gun on unarmed amputee

He was also unlegged...

Tyrannosaur Found Mauled by Kin

The coldest case of all?

School Bus Carrying Swim Team Dives Into Pond

The coach wanted to weed out the weakest?

Boston EMT accused of double shooting, then administering aid

Business was slow that night?

Olympic Cyclist's Wife Knocked Off Her Bike

Her husband, however, bought his legally.

Two slain in gang spat at S.F. pizza parlor

How disgusting of them, but isn't their punishment a bit drastic?

Miss California: 'God chose me'

And not the judges?

Huge Sinkhole Traps a Hundred Residents

Why doesn't someone fetch them a ladder?

Uninsured More Likely to Die, Study Finds

Yes, that's why they couldn't get insurance.