Many Scots 'miss energy savings'

How uncanny.

Wife snares husband by posing as schoolgirl

There's a comic opera just waiting to be written here.

Universities reject Kindle over inaccessibility for the blind

Will they also reject printed books?

Woman Charged after Shopping with Loaded Gun

Trying to stop her runaway cart?

Human Extinction: How Could It Happen?

Who would care if it did?

New dinosaur discovered in South Africa

"New" is of course a relative term.

New warning on 'perfect vaginas'

Yes, avoid those people at all costs.

Spider Weaves Star of David Web

Like Charlotte, her message is "don't eat the pig."

'Noisy sex' woman who kept neighbours awake loses appeal

Good. The less sex she gets, the more sleep for her neighbors.

Homeless man gets a final warning

...that he will no longer be homeless?

Woman passes driver's test on 950th try

Fluke.

Legendary Lost Persian Army Found in Sahara

They deserted.

Rape accused claims he cannot have sex, court hears

In jail, nobody can have sex. At least that's the theory...

Keep Your Meat Safe From E. Coli

...always use a condom.

Dalai Lama holds mass gathering

Is the Dalai Lama Catholic?