Design fixed for 1,000mph car

Great! Now we just need some roads to drive it on.

Drugs Could Reverse Down Syndrome Symptoms

But isn't Up Syndrome almost as bad?

FBI runs out of leads in civil rights killings

However slow they worked, this was bound to happen in the end.

Man shot in chest at gas station

Bad place to hide.

Teenager jailed for kicking death

Moral: don't mess with the Grim Reaper.

Lawyer: Hasan ‘has no sensation’ below chest

Those 72 virgins won't be of much use to him, will they?

Michael Jackson Wins 2 Music Awards

One's for decomposing... but what's the other one for?

When Your Boss Wants Your DNA

I say screw her.

Unofficial event in Dallas marks 46th anniversary of Kennedy assassination

Note to Barack: stay away.

Woman Accused of Offering Sex to Get Out of Speeding Ticket

However, the officer had been warned about fast women.

Eastenders Chistmas Scripts Are Stolen

Were they going to sing "no R, no R?"

Man Who Strangled Wife During Dream Is Freed

I bet his cellmate is relieved.

Hundreds of sheep dead after truck crash

The exact number is unknown; no-one can stay awake long enough to count them.

Afghanistan is world's worst place to be born: UN

But a good place to die.

The Most Used Words in Sarah Palin's Book

By a journalist with nothing better to do than count them.