'Poor judgment' blamed in state dinner lapse

Was it the failure to give the Salahis a proper invitation?

Couple scrap wedding list and ask for blood instead

Are they from Transsylvania?

Woods 'snoring' after car crash

Did he drive off in his sleep?

Shortage of Eggo waffles could create a sticky situation

A flood of surplus maple syrup?

Obama family lights National Christmas Tree

Oh, is there a national religion now?

What Drugs Are Our Astronauts On?

Nothing. Being spaced out is part of their job.

Two in three Britons think UK has immigration problem

And the other third are immigrants.

Should we stop buying Christmas gifts?

Not for 3 more weeks.

Dinner Crashers 'Respectfully Decline' Congress Invite

Naturally. The food's better at the White House.

Arsonist to hang over deadly porno parlour blaze

Wouldn't spit-roasting cook him more evenly?

Lie detector expert jailed for lying

What does that do for his credibility?

Pandas 'chirp' to get pregnant

Is that why some people tweet?

After year of fights, shooting, historic Sumner High School may close

Seems a shame to end the tradition...

Women Cops 'Had It In For Knox Over Sex Toy'

Had what in?

Left, Right Slam Obama Plan

Which means it's probably about right.