Saturday, January 2, 2010

Google exec runs for Vt. governor

Why can't I find any information about the other candidates?

Saturday's date is a palindrome

As in, "Bob sees Anna; Anna sees Bob"?

Elton John Says he Is Helping Eminen Fight Drugs

Sounds like your own speech is a bit slurred, Elton.

Friday, January 1, 2010

Tests: "Nothing wrong" with Limbaugh's heart

But have they tested his soul?

Economists Are Often Cheapskates

They have a tendency to over-economize?

Man shot by police was carrying replica gun

Maybe it was only a replica, but it fooled the cops.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Season's Greetings!

Nick's Headlines is taking a break till the New Year. Happy Holidays!

View Star Apologizes for Calling Tiger Woods' Mistress a "Hooker"

Naturally, he has taught her to swing straight.

Tiger Woods gags English media

And the Hollywood call-girls?

School Bus Roof Torn Off In Bridge Smash

When will those buses learn to duck?

RCMP seized pot from woman's bra, court hears

A pair of pots would have looked less suspicious.

Bond on China trade panel

Don't believe it. Universal Export is just a front.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Man arrested after trying to crawl through doggy door

He was lucky not to get bitten...

"Tigergate" Isn't A Black Thing

No, it's orange and stripey.

Nunavut group seeks new Inuktitut word for suicide

Why not use one of their surplus words for snow?