Obama to limit use of US nuclear weapons

Next time, they'll use only one?

For aging drivers, knowing when to hang up the car keys can be difficult

Especially when you can't remember where you put them.

At Easter Mass Pope Hailed as "Unfailing"

Of course. As everyone knows, he's infallible.

World's 4th Largest Lake Nearly Dried Up

Are there only three left now?

Fire breaks out in Aon building

Let's hope they're insured...

Women Push for Rights With Topless March

And lefts, too, I hope.

Fossil Find May Be 'Missing Link' in Human Evolution

By definition, it can't be.

Pilot recalls highway crash-landing

He's lucky to be able to...

Disney bus driver charged in 3rd crash in 2 weeks

They should never have given that job to Mr. Toad.

Men have to be charged for using trafficked women

Well, duh! Did you expect them to be free?

Commuter Page: A history of traffic problems in the Washington area

Juat one page? Lucky commuters!

Officials Find 7m Cigarettes In Lorry

They actually found them a year ago, but have only just finished counting them.

Tourist Dies After Falling Into Active Bali Volcano

I guess he won't be needing a funeral...

An alligator ate my Amazon package

That happens when you order from the jungle. In any case, "Amazon package" is an oxymoron.

Lockerbie response 'disjointed'

But not as badly as the victims were.