Who is the Rev. Terry Jones?

As director of Monty Python's Life of Brian, he must be an expert on religion.

Justin Bieber takes up 3 percent of Twitter servers

...while the other 97% have equally important information.

Firefighters' Homes Among Those Destroyed in Colorado Blaze

Just as well, really. Saving them would not have looked good.

Fast food takes off in China

That's why they serve it in Styrofoam.

Van der Sloot says he's sorry for Holloway lies

But not for her death.

Woman Devours 181 Chicken Wings in Contest

Somewhere, one poor chicken is flapping around in circles.

25,000 Illinois jobs in jeopardy

Another town named after a game show?

Study: Office Refrigerators Not Very Clean

And what about those untidy kitchen desks?

Politician's wife exposed as prostitute

That makes two in the house.

Earl leaves thousands without power

No wonder the peasants are revolting.

Vatican: Pope monitoring Iran woman sentenced to stoning

Serves him right for meddling in Islamic affairs.

Badly Burned Body Found At Golf Course

Next time, use the crematorium.

Stranded whale to be blown up in harbour

It's been tried. Remember that video of a hail of blubber?

Woman accused of stabbings at Target found incompetent to stand trial

Quite right too. Targets are for shooting at, not stabbing.

Hoarder's body found under rubbish pile

In the end, her rubbish hoarded her.