Obama meets with CEOs to urge them to start hiring

He's going to need a new job sometime...

Boat death toll set to rise, says PM

Yes, it's called "bloat and float".

TV meteorologist arrested for false sexual assault report

You just can't trust those forecasters.

Man killed after being pulled into wood chipper in Fallbrook

Rest in pieces.

Arizona police find fake patrol car with marijuana

Well, they say it's a fake.

Toddler rescued from toy crane machine in Pittsburgh mall

How many quarters did it take?

Missing Virginia girl found safe in San Francisco

But she's not a Virginian any more.

Goat Heads Left At Hyde Park Homes

And sheep heads right? That'll sort them!

Top 10 holiday threats for pets

Bad dog! Santa Claws will get you!

Exploding Qantas A380 engine had a 'potential defect', air safety bureau reports

But not an actual one?

Overcrowding in California's Prisons Reaches Supreme Court

And when that's full up, there's nowhere else.

Wi-Fi Might Not Kill Trees After All

In fact it can help you save them.

Police to conduct DUI checkpoint in Van Nuys tonight

Thanks for the warning.

Euro 'a good option' for Iceland

Iceland must be really desperate.

No risk of euro zone breakup in Irish crisis: EU

Well, they have to say that, don't they?