The end of the world is nigh: PM Gillard confirms 2012 apocalypse

How many more suicides will these Australian jokers cause?

French scientists warn sperm counts falling for men

What did they expect, after years of helping the infertile to breed?

Private company Golden Spike plans to send space tourists to the moon for $1.4 billion per couple

And how much extra to come back?

USS Enterprise retires from active service

These are the voyages...

Guilty New Mexico prankster returns stolen toilet paper he took as a college student

Used, presumably.

$4M settlement reached after Connecticut mauled by chimp

Did New York ever settle with King Kong?

World won't end on December 21: NASA scientists

But they're not saying anything about the other dates in December.

WikiLeaks founder Assange reportedly has lung infection

I see the polonium-210 has started to take effect...

Attorney General’s Office To Prosecute Random Shooting Suspect

Well, it saves having to round up all the other usual suspects.

San Francisco lawmakers vote to ban public nudity

No more wearing just a flower in your hair.

Sources: Colo. massacre suspect has made "half-hearted" suicide tries

Next time give him more rope.

Australia solar eclipse delights thousands

Is this missing a hyphen?

BBC chief resigns over false sex abuse report broadcast on Newsnight

Poor old BBC: damned when they air sex-abuse reports, and damned when they don't.

Officials: Sandy-stricken areas will vote Tuesday 'come hell or high water'

One of them already came.

Bounty crew member who died in hospital was Fletcher Christian descendant

Divine retribution upon the seventh generation?