Teen shot trying to sneak into wrong home after night of drinking, parents say

Wasted in more ways than one.

Florida man vanishes after being sucked into sinkhole under his bedroom

What did he do to deserve that?

Study: Nearly half are overqualified for their jobs

Isn't that a reason not to study?

U.S. poised to go off 'fiscal cliff': Senator Reid

Well, at least we missed Planet Nibiru.

Former President, George H.W. Bush In Intensive Care

Expiring along with his son's tax cuts?

Put armed police in every school, NRA urges

How reassuring will that be for the children? And will they try to steal the guns? But at least we'll have better-educated cops.

Study: Hawaiian island slowly dissolving

I see the doom-and-gloom mongers are retrenching after today's big disappointment.

Maya 'doomsday' may actually be Sunday, archaeologist says

But they don't give up, do they? Happy New Baktun!

China makes 500 doomsday cult arrests

But will that prevent the Mayan Apocalypse?

The end of the world is nigh: PM Gillard confirms 2012 apocalypse

How many more suicides will these Australian jokers cause?

French scientists warn sperm counts falling for men

What did they expect, after years of helping the infertile to breed?

Private company Golden Spike plans to send space tourists to the moon for $1.4 billion per couple

And how much extra to come back?

USS Enterprise retires from active service

These are the voyages...

Guilty New Mexico prankster returns stolen toilet paper he took as a college student

Used, presumably.

$4M settlement reached after Connecticut mauled by chimp

Did New York ever settle with King Kong?