Friday, December 11, 2009
View Star Apologizes for Calling Tiger Woods' Mistress a "Hooker"
Naturally, he has taught her to swing straight.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Christmas Island detention centre almost full
That's OK, 2 more weeks and they can start filling the Easter Island one.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Monday, December 7, 2009
Friday, December 4, 2009
'Poor judgment' blamed in state dinner lapse
Was it the failure to give the Salahis a proper invitation?
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Dinner Crashers 'Respectfully Decline' Congress Invite
Naturally. The food's better at the White House.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
After year of fights, shooting, historic Sumner High School may close
Seems a shame to end the tradition...
White House Party Crashers Blame Dead Cell Phone
Hey, if I kill my cell phone, can I go to a state dinner too?
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Dubai's Woes Are a Blow to Sheik Mo, Its Ambitious Ruler
Maybe he should ask Sheiks Larry and Curly to help him?
Monday, November 30, 2009
US lawmakers hope to question White House gatecrashers
Are these lawmakers not invited to state dinners either?
Woman killed by car at site where granddaughter was killed
When will that family learn to stay away?
Alleged Nazi Guard on Trial for 27,900 Deaths
Why bother? He can only die once, and will soon enough anyway.
Friday, November 27, 2009
Government delays new ban on Internet gambling
While they try to get lucky and reduce the Federal deficit?
L.A. Unified school choices are a confusing maze
It's an intelligence test: the smartest kids find the best schools.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Cancer-stricken New Yorker Jasmina Anema set to meet Obama
Why not? He has more hope of curing her than of fixing the economy.
UN renews campaign against domestic violence
Shouldn't they be more concerned about foreign violence?
Judge Lance Ito gives up after thieves repeatedly swipe his nameplate from court
With thieves in his courtroom every day, what did he expect?
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
FBI runs out of leads in civil rights killings
However slow they worked, this was bound to happen in the end.
Lawyer: Hasan ‘has no sensation’ below chest
Those 72 virgins won't be of much use to him, will they?
Unofficial event in Dallas marks 46th anniversary of Kennedy assassination
Note to Barack: stay away.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Woman Accused of Offering Sex to Get Out of Speeding Ticket
However, the officer had been warned about fast women.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Hundreds of sheep dead after truck crash
The exact number is unknown; no-one can stay awake long enough to count them.
The Most Used Words in Sarah Palin's Book
By a journalist with nothing better to do than count them.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
Friday, November 13, 2009
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
'Noisy sex' woman who kept neighbours awake loses appeal
Good. The less sex she gets, the more sleep for her neighbors.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Rape accused claims he cannot have sex, court hears
In jail, nobody can have sex. At least that's the theory...
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Monday, November 2, 2009
Warship forged with '9/11 steel' sails into New York
What makes up the other 2/11?
UPDATE: Oh, now I get it. It means 9% Cr, 11% Ni, 80% Fe.
UPDATE: Oh, now I get it. It means 9% Cr, 11% Ni, 80% Fe.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Spain to exhume purported grave of Garcia Lorca
Wrong grave, guys. We distinctly said Alfredo Garcia.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Church of Scientology Convicted of Fraud in France
Had they just offered salvation, presumably they'd have been legal.
Northwest pilots say they were distracted by laptops
Lucky them. Most of us are limited to texting while we drive.
Fossil skull of huge sea dinosaur is found on England's south coast
How far from Piltdown was it found?
Monday, October 26, 2009
Student Fatally Shoots Himself in Professor's Office
Was he rehearsing Scene I of The Philanthropist?
Why experts say younger, smarter wives make for a long marriage
Because old ones die soon and stupid ones become tiresome. Duh!
Friday, October 23, 2009
Pilots Blame ‘Heated Discussion’ for Missing Airport
Were they arguing whose turn it was to land the plane?
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Russia, BONY Reach Settlement
About time too. It's been almost 200 years since his retreat from Moscow.
Afghan election runoff: As officials scramble, some voters dig in heels
Is there a shortage of workboots?
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
FF backbenchers criticise plan for lower drink-driving limits
Yes, it would stop them driving home from work.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Israeli rabbis rule against 'Shabbat elevators'
Silly rabbis! Shabbat is for rest, not stair-climbing!
Friday, October 9, 2009
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Oops! Hack lets anybody join the MySpace network on Facebook
Why is MySpace even using a rival service?
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Pirates attack navy ship 'in error'
Gilbert and Sullivan would have had a field day with that one...
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Food vendor collapses and dies in Dodger Stadium press box
PS: Anyone want 100 boxes of Cracker Jack?
Man released from death row, dies in crash
Statistically, the highways are riskier than death row...
Monday, October 5, 2009
Teenage girls jump to their deaths in suspected suicides
Suspected? Unless they found broken bungee-cords, I'd say definite.
Friday, October 2, 2009
Video Of Captured Israeli Soldier Released
Captured video of released soldier would be better, though.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
SMU censures Lambda Chi Alpha fraternity over Watermelon Bash event
For disregarding vegetable rights?
Mothers born outside Ireland more likely to brestfeed
Apparently, the Irish are unfamiliar with the idea...
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Most Suicide Bombers Have Three Things in Common
1: Fundamentalism; 2: Explosives; 3: Eternal damnation.
New York Teen Injures Self After Building Possible Bomb
Lucky it wasn't an actual bomb, or he'd be dead.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Cops: Sick Man Dies After Friends Dump Him on Road
Proving that cops define "friends" rather broadly.
Friday, September 25, 2009
CanJet hijacker unaware actions were illegal: lawyer
Is that the best defense he could come up with?
Thursday, September 24, 2009
'Meatless Monday' at city schools aimed at delivering healthier food
What was wrong with Fleshless Fridays?
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Near-universal passing provokes debate on school test standards
Are the tests too easy, or might the schools actually be doing their job properly?
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
U.S. Taxpayers Pay Millions to Keep Despots Safe at U.N.
Money well spent. Who wants them roaming the streets?
Monday, September 21, 2009
Two slain in gang spat at S.F. pizza parlor
How disgusting of them, but isn't their punishment a bit drastic?
Friday, September 18, 2009
Illinois motorist painting fingernails when cyclist was fatally struck
Now more than her nails are red.
Spain indicts alleged 3 ex-Nazis for genocide
Aren't they really being indicted for having lived too long?
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Prisoner treatment at Illinois supermax prison comes under microscope
A review at the cellular level?
Man charged with shooting Seattle sound engineer has fled
Afraid he wouldn't get a balanced hearing?
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
ACORN plans internal probe amid hidden camera scandal
To make sure there are no more hidden cameras?
Ohio governor delays execution after executioners have trouble finding inmate’s veins
If they brought back hanging, I bet they could find his neck.
Innovative math program boosts scores at O.C. schools
Instead of adding up the scores, they now multiply them.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
King Solomon Grand Lodge's Fate Uncertain as Fenty Delays News Conference
Is he reading the new Dan Brown thriller?
Memorabilia Dealer Sues O.J. Simpson
Why bother, when Ron Goldman's family are still waiting to be paid?
Europe's $57 billion plan to put windmills in the ocean
Wouldn't it be cheaper just to flood Holland?
Monday, September 14, 2009
Friday, September 11, 2009
Thursday, September 10, 2009
California lawmaker admits sex talk, not affair
So he admits he's a liar, but denies he's an adulterer?
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Ex Cork hurling manager threatened with 'bullet in the head', court hears
Such retaliation seems rather disproportionate...
Suicide main cause of death in 15 to 34-year-olds
As medicine advances, I hope to see that age range widen.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Fifty Years On, Turkey Still Pines to Become European
... but can't afford to relocate the Bosphorus?
Monday, September 7, 2009
Sudan Journalist Fined $200 for Wearing Trousers
A bargain, compared with the penalty for not wearing them...
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Cost of children putting women off babies
No wonder. After all the birth pains, sleepless nights, crying and dirty diapers, it's the last straw.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Friday, September 4, 2009
Poorly labelled alcohol leaves 'consumers in the dark'
Methanol or ethanol? There's a big difference.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Why Parents May Cause Gender Differences in Kids
Is it perhaps because they often have gender differences themselves?
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Obama's plan to speak to schoolchildren ignites furor in Dallas area
Because he doesn't plan to drive there in an open motorcade?
Announcement
I'm changing the layout of the blog. From now on, each headline will appear in a separate post, instead of combining each day's headlines into a single post. This way, you'll get them sooner. Hope you like the change.
More Headlines: Sep 2
Hijackers shoot dead cop
- Waste of a bullet.
Nearly 1 in 10 California seniors failed to pass high school exit exam
- After so many years, does it matter?
Freed journalists suspect they were trapped
- Yes, that's what "freed" implies.
Slim majority oppose Obama's health-care plan
- Naturally. They're the ones who least need it.
At 40, the Internet still reshaping history
- Thanks to Wikipedia, anyone can rewrite it.
Domestic battery case dropped against porn star
- Her vibrator's external power source?
Road widening can't go on forever, state leaders say
- Obviously not, or they won't have any state left.
Ancient wall found in Jerusalem
- What, another one?
BP Makes Gulf Oil Discovery
- Gulf Oil, however, has always known about BP.
Michael Jackson's estate will pay funeral costs
- Glad to see he died within his means.
- Waste of a bullet.
Nearly 1 in 10 California seniors failed to pass high school exit exam
- After so many years, does it matter?
Freed journalists suspect they were trapped
- Yes, that's what "freed" implies.
Slim majority oppose Obama's health-care plan
- Naturally. They're the ones who least need it.
At 40, the Internet still reshaping history
- Thanks to Wikipedia, anyone can rewrite it.
Domestic battery case dropped against porn star
- Her vibrator's external power source?
Road widening can't go on forever, state leaders say
- Obviously not, or they won't have any state left.
Ancient wall found in Jerusalem
- What, another one?
BP Makes Gulf Oil Discovery
- Gulf Oil, however, has always known about BP.
Michael Jackson's estate will pay funeral costs
- Glad to see he died within his means.
Headlines: Sep 2
Bank robber: I did it to get away from wife
- Yeah, right.
US dinosaur had Chinese cousin
- Back then, they were neighbors.
Blast Kills Afghan Intelligence Official
- So much for Afghan intelligence.
Hunt on for Indian politician after chopper vanishes
- Perhaps he went to bury the hatchet?
N.Y. Wrong-Way Driver to Be Exhumed
- Was she buried the wrong way too?
Gay marriage critics file for DC referendum
- Wouldn't an AC/DC one be fairer?
SkyEurope collapse hits passengers
- They should have heeded Chicken Little.
Donor says he got $20,000 for kidney
- Wow! How much would a seller have got?
Report: Woman blames shoplifting on her weight gain
- Which in turn she blames on her bank-robbing husband?
- Yeah, right.
US dinosaur had Chinese cousin
- Back then, they were neighbors.
Blast Kills Afghan Intelligence Official
- So much for Afghan intelligence.
Hunt on for Indian politician after chopper vanishes
- Perhaps he went to bury the hatchet?
N.Y. Wrong-Way Driver to Be Exhumed
- Was she buried the wrong way too?
Gay marriage critics file for DC referendum
- Wouldn't an AC/DC one be fairer?
SkyEurope collapse hits passengers
- They should have heeded Chicken Little.
Donor says he got $20,000 for kidney
- Wow! How much would a seller have got?
Report: Woman blames shoplifting on her weight gain
- Which in turn she blames on her bank-robbing husband?
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Headlines: Sep 1
Gay to have surgery after season
- Competing in the Women's League next year?
Report: Murdered Pastor Left Nude in 'Crucifix Position'
- What a place to leave one! No wonder she was struck down.
Hamas leader denies Nazi genocide of Jews
- He wants to take the credit for himself?
Next Atlanta mayor could be white
- Why not? It's happened before...
911 Tapes Released in Ga. Trailer Park Murders
- But the 912th is still a suspect.
Libya says Lockerbie bomber in hospital
- Oh, so now they admit he was the bomber?
Nigeria Indicts 5 Ousted Bank Chiefs
- Good. Maybe now they'll stop emailing me about dormant accounts.
'I just think about climate change all the time. It's all I do'
- Get a life.
1 in 3 teenage girls tell of sexual abuse
- Fortunately, 2 in 3 still keep quiet.
Boeing Makes Executive Change
- Enforcing the company dress code across the board, I see.
Ban on production of old light bulbs begins
- Why ban the impossible?
UK teenage girls 'worst drunks'
- That's why I prefer older lushes.
TV Chef Pleads Guilty To Hare Coursing
- The traditional Jugged Hare recipe is now illegal.
- Competing in the Women's League next year?
Report: Murdered Pastor Left Nude in 'Crucifix Position'
- What a place to leave one! No wonder she was struck down.
Hamas leader denies Nazi genocide of Jews
- He wants to take the credit for himself?
Next Atlanta mayor could be white
- Why not? It's happened before...
911 Tapes Released in Ga. Trailer Park Murders
- But the 912th is still a suspect.
Libya says Lockerbie bomber in hospital
- Oh, so now they admit he was the bomber?
Nigeria Indicts 5 Ousted Bank Chiefs
- Good. Maybe now they'll stop emailing me about dormant accounts.
'I just think about climate change all the time. It's all I do'
- Get a life.
1 in 3 teenage girls tell of sexual abuse
- Fortunately, 2 in 3 still keep quiet.
Boeing Makes Executive Change
- Enforcing the company dress code across the board, I see.
Ban on production of old light bulbs begins
- Why ban the impossible?
UK teenage girls 'worst drunks'
- That's why I prefer older lushes.
TV Chef Pleads Guilty To Hare Coursing
- The traditional Jugged Hare recipe is now illegal.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Headlines: Aug 31
Spider phobia treatment goes online
- But arachnophobes won't touch the Web.
China's 'unluckiest generation' reflects on cost of revolution
- And on its pronunciation?
New Orleans Sees an Opportunity to Improve on Its Past
- That won't be difficult.
Texas law makes Sept. 11 a holiday for firefighters
- And a field day for arsonists?
Economists Are Split on Inflation
- Next time, don't blow them up so hard.
Baker Hughes to Buy BJ Services
- Does his wife know?
Heavier Drinking Linked to Heavier Exercise
- If elbow-bending counts...
Conn. Man Advertises Parents on Craigslist for $155
- Is there an extra “n” in that headline?
Therapist charged with having sex with 14-year-old
- And isn’t there a space missing from this one?
EU to begin phasing out standard lightbulbs
- Once again, the lights are going out all over Europe.
- But arachnophobes won't touch the Web.
China's 'unluckiest generation' reflects on cost of revolution
- And on its pronunciation?
New Orleans Sees an Opportunity to Improve on Its Past
- That won't be difficult.
Texas law makes Sept. 11 a holiday for firefighters
- And a field day for arsonists?
Economists Are Split on Inflation
- Next time, don't blow them up so hard.
Baker Hughes to Buy BJ Services
- Does his wife know?
Heavier Drinking Linked to Heavier Exercise
- If elbow-bending counts...
Conn. Man Advertises Parents on Craigslist for $155
- Is there an extra “n” in that headline?
Therapist charged with having sex with 14-year-old
- And isn’t there a space missing from this one?
EU to begin phasing out standard lightbulbs
- Once again, the lights are going out all over Europe.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Headlines: Aug 30
Thousands mourn Iraqi Shia leader
- Millions don't.
Fort Bliss soldier charged with murder incompetent for trial
- But not for military service?
Garrido admitted to drug-fueled sex fantasies
- How come they never let me in?
Mentally ill woman shot by cops sues
- Are they like gangsters molls?
Kidnapped Girl Etched in Tahoe Community's Heart
- You can still see her artwork on Main Street.
Experts: Media today would demand Chappaquiddick answers
- Kennedy today would not give them.
What happens to your virtual world after you die?
- Your Second Life goes on.
TV chat show star Simon Dee dies
- Simon Dee ceased.
Why is blood so costly?
- Well, would you want to use cheap blood? Thought not.
- Millions don't.
Fort Bliss soldier charged with murder incompetent for trial
- But not for military service?
Garrido admitted to drug-fueled sex fantasies
- How come they never let me in?
Mentally ill woman shot by cops sues
- Are they like gangsters molls?
Kidnapped Girl Etched in Tahoe Community's Heart
- You can still see her artwork on Main Street.
Experts: Media today would demand Chappaquiddick answers
- Kennedy today would not give them.
What happens to your virtual world after you die?
- Your Second Life goes on.
TV chat show star Simon Dee dies
- Simon Dee ceased.
Why is blood so costly?
- Well, would you want to use cheap blood? Thought not.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Headlines: Aug 29
Kidnapping Suspect Admitted to Disturbing Sexual Fantasies
- Whose did he disturb? Or was he admitted?
India loses contact with Moon satellite
- It's gone round to the Dark Side?
Man, 23, gets 2 life terms plus 100 years in kidnapping case
- And then to be fined £40?
Pakistan suicide bomber training camp destroyed
- By overeager trainees?
Man stole woman's car on date
- He wanted her body and her chassis.
Safety drives over bank holiday
- All very well, but can he keep Death off the roads?
‘Halloween II’ is a vile sequel to a lazy remake
- Is that criticism or praise?
GM Sees Chevy Inroads in Europe
- Are those pickups or SUVs?
Halting Recovery Divides U.S. in Two
- Like the Mountain Range, the economy is rocky.
Banks deemed too big to fail emerge even bigger
- Ultimately they'll fall even harder.
First Lady visits Aids clinic
- Had to happen sooner or later. Disease is no respecter of rank.
Mega Millions jackpot hits $333 million
- Big deal. That's only a third of a Mega Thousand.
Woman's frantic 911 call helps convict her killer
- I suppose it was of some use in the end.
Californians Sweat Out Wildfires
- A new way to save water?
Apple: Exploding iPhones Not Our Fault
- Then whose? Suicidal eJihad apps?
- Whose did he disturb? Or was he admitted?
India loses contact with Moon satellite
- It's gone round to the Dark Side?
Man, 23, gets 2 life terms plus 100 years in kidnapping case
- And then to be fined £40?
Pakistan suicide bomber training camp destroyed
- By overeager trainees?
Man stole woman's car on date
- He wanted her body and her chassis.
Safety drives over bank holiday
- All very well, but can he keep Death off the roads?
‘Halloween II’ is a vile sequel to a lazy remake
- Is that criticism or praise?
GM Sees Chevy Inroads in Europe
- Are those pickups or SUVs?
Halting Recovery Divides U.S. in Two
- Like the Mountain Range, the economy is rocky.
Banks deemed too big to fail emerge even bigger
- Ultimately they'll fall even harder.
First Lady visits Aids clinic
- Had to happen sooner or later. Disease is no respecter of rank.
Mega Millions jackpot hits $333 million
- Big deal. That's only a third of a Mega Thousand.
Woman's frantic 911 call helps convict her killer
- I suppose it was of some use in the end.
Californians Sweat Out Wildfires
- A new way to save water?
Apple: Exploding iPhones Not Our Fault
- Then whose? Suicidal eJihad apps?
Friday, August 28, 2009
Headlines: Aug 28
CDC Turns to Twitter, Facebook to Promote H1N1
- Viral marketing?
Nixon dug deep for dirt on Ted Kennedy (AP)
- But Obama will have it put back soon...
Faraway planet sent giant chunk of spam
- Or was it Nigerians with a fake return address?
What is the fate of leftover frozen embryos?
- Sooner or later, the freezer will break down...
Obama to Rule on China Tire Imports
- Ban them - they chip far too easily.
American Eagle's Net Tumbles
- No problem, it can still swoop for its fish.
- Viral marketing?
Nixon dug deep for dirt on Ted Kennedy (AP)
- But Obama will have it put back soon...
Faraway planet sent giant chunk of spam
- Or was it Nigerians with a fake return address?
What is the fate of leftover frozen embryos?
- Sooner or later, the freezer will break down...
Obama to Rule on China Tire Imports
- Ban them - they chip far too easily.
American Eagle's Net Tumbles
- No problem, it can still swoop for its fish.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Headlines: Aug 27
FDIC Fund Shrinks Amid Rising Bank Failures
To help when bankers go bonkers?
Man drowns in fishing contest at Rend Lake
Sometimes, the fish wins.
Website calculates risk of dying
That's easy. It's 100%.
Pink Slip Party in Jacksonville
Can I go in pajamas instead?
Doer steps down as Manitoba premier
I guess he's done now.
Study: Scent of Cut Grass Is Calming, Boosts Memory
Is that cut with tobacco or something else?
After JFK assassination, Edward Kennedy never visited Dallas
I don't suppose Mrs Lincoln went back to the theater, either.
Pair of fronts could bring some heat relief to Houston
Are those Y-fronts?
Air Rifle Boy Was Shot At Makeshift Range
Is that nearer or further than point-blank?
Auschwitz blueprints given to Israeli PM
As the person least likely to use them?
Historians make musical discovery on 16th Century carving
Grinling and Orlando Gibbons were related?
Milton Bradley lashes out
Don't worry, they'll be back in by game time...
Monkeys hold key to genetic cure
Throw them some bananas, they’ll probably let you grab it.
Astronomers find what appears to be a suicidal planet
Big deal. Environmentalists found one long ago.
To help when bankers go bonkers?
Man drowns in fishing contest at Rend Lake
Sometimes, the fish wins.
Website calculates risk of dying
That's easy. It's 100%.
Pink Slip Party in Jacksonville
Can I go in pajamas instead?
Doer steps down as Manitoba premier
I guess he's done now.
Study: Scent of Cut Grass Is Calming, Boosts Memory
Is that cut with tobacco or something else?
After JFK assassination, Edward Kennedy never visited Dallas
I don't suppose Mrs Lincoln went back to the theater, either.
Pair of fronts could bring some heat relief to Houston
Are those Y-fronts?
Air Rifle Boy Was Shot At Makeshift Range
Is that nearer or further than point-blank?
Auschwitz blueprints given to Israeli PM
As the person least likely to use them?
Historians make musical discovery on 16th Century carving
Grinling and Orlando Gibbons were related?
Milton Bradley lashes out
Don't worry, they'll be back in by game time...
Monkeys hold key to genetic cure
Throw them some bananas, they’ll probably let you grab it.
Astronomers find what appears to be a suicidal planet
Big deal. Environmentalists found one long ago.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Headlines: Aug 26
Don't wait, get help for insomnia before it is a habit
I see Conrad Murray is advertising for new patients.
Walgreen to Offer Caterpillar Drugs
Just say no, Mr. Caterpillar!
Bankers least likely to employ mentally ill people
And the Postal Service is most likely?
Death marks the end of Camelot
by Tom of Warwick?
Many religious orders go to Internet to find new members
So do many transsexuals...
Ovarian cancer 'is being missed'
By women who were attached to their tumors?
South Korea Rocket Launch A 'Half Success'
So was the Space Shuttle Challenger’s...
Toys 'R' Us Offers Discounts for Used Baby Products
Better not buy diapers there...
Woman arrested at BWI with 2 1/2 pounds of cocaine in bra
Busted!
Houston police officer roughed up in East End
His West End was unharmed, however.
I see Conrad Murray is advertising for new patients.
Walgreen to Offer Caterpillar Drugs
Just say no, Mr. Caterpillar!
Bankers least likely to employ mentally ill people
And the Postal Service is most likely?
Death marks the end of Camelot
by Tom of Warwick?
Many religious orders go to Internet to find new members
So do many transsexuals...
Ovarian cancer 'is being missed'
By women who were attached to their tumors?
South Korea Rocket Launch A 'Half Success'
So was the Space Shuttle Challenger’s...
Toys 'R' Us Offers Discounts for Used Baby Products
Better not buy diapers there...
Woman arrested at BWI with 2 1/2 pounds of cocaine in bra
Busted!
Houston police officer roughed up in East End
His West End was unharmed, however.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Headlines: Aug 25
Review of alleged detainee abuse to have narrow scope
In what orifices was it allegedly inserted?
Royal Opera, Bayreuth To Release Wagner DVSs
Are those digital video six-packs?
Venomous Snake On The Loose In Florida
Don’t worry, the gators will get it.
Uncertainty Surrounds Iran's Nuclear Capability
Yes, it’s called the Heisenberg principle.
Karzai, chief rival neck and neck in Afghan vote
Soon they’ll be in bed together...
US Chamber of Commerce seeks trial on global warming
Turn the heat up two degrees and see what happens?
In what orifices was it allegedly inserted?
Royal Opera, Bayreuth To Release Wagner DVSs
Are those digital video six-packs?
Venomous Snake On The Loose In Florida
Don’t worry, the gators will get it.
Uncertainty Surrounds Iran's Nuclear Capability
Yes, it’s called the Heisenberg principle.
Karzai, chief rival neck and neck in Afghan vote
Soon they’ll be in bed together...
US Chamber of Commerce seeks trial on global warming
Turn the heat up two degrees and see what happens?
Monday, August 24, 2009
Headlines: Aug 24
Actual news headlines from the Web
With my comments below
Bernard Madoff 'dying of cancer'
Time to send him to Libya?
Malaysian Authorities Postpone Whipping of Woman
Holding out for a better video-distribution deal?
Founder of Kaplan test centers, dead at 90
He finally passed....
3 years after demotion, Pluto debate rages on
Why can't he walk on his hind legs like Goofy?
Baghdad bombing leaves hole in diplomatic corps
Should there be an "e" at the end of that sentence?
LA firefighters find pot growing in burning home
And now they have the munchies....
Pastor Found Dead Inside Her Church
Serves her right for looking in the crypt....
With my comments below
Bernard Madoff 'dying of cancer'
Time to send him to Libya?
Malaysian Authorities Postpone Whipping of Woman
Holding out for a better video-distribution deal?
Founder of Kaplan test centers, dead at 90
He finally passed....
3 years after demotion, Pluto debate rages on
Why can't he walk on his hind legs like Goofy?
Baghdad bombing leaves hole in diplomatic corps
Should there be an "e" at the end of that sentence?
LA firefighters find pot growing in burning home
And now they have the munchies....
Pastor Found Dead Inside Her Church
Serves her right for looking in the crypt....
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Headlines: Aug 23
Here is the news: these are all actual news headlines from the Web
And here are my comments.
Obama vacation takeoff delayed by Hurricane Bill
Did he consider using his veto power on it?
Tension Increases as China and Australia Grow Closer
Wouldn’t that cause compression, not tension?
Lawmaker Targets NJ Inmates’ Illicit Cell Phones
Why call them cell phones if they’re not intended for prisoners?
Medical Robot Makes Rounds at Texas Army Hospital
Does it also make rounds on the golf course?
The world’s first cocaine bar
Thanks, but I think I’ll stick to chocolate.
And here are my comments.
Obama vacation takeoff delayed by Hurricane Bill
Did he consider using his veto power on it?
Tension Increases as China and Australia Grow Closer
Wouldn’t that cause compression, not tension?
Lawmaker Targets NJ Inmates’ Illicit Cell Phones
Why call them cell phones if they’re not intended for prisoners?
Medical Robot Makes Rounds at Texas Army Hospital
Does it also make rounds on the golf course?
The world’s first cocaine bar
Thanks, but I think I’ll stick to chocolate.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Headlines: August 22
Here’s my commentary on today’s news–these are all actual news headlines from the Web.
Some Dealers Stop Taking ‘Clunkers’
Now if only some dealers would stop selling them….
Jackson Burial Postponed, Judge Approves Exhibition
A lying-in-state for the King of Pop?
Community comes out for Filipinos in Carson and the South Bay
That wouldn’t have made the headlines in West Hollywood.
Venice Beach murder mystery endures: Who buried a man in the sand?
I suspect his kids.
Some Dealers Stop Taking ‘Clunkers’
Now if only some dealers would stop selling them….
Jackson Burial Postponed, Judge Approves Exhibition
A lying-in-state for the King of Pop?
Community comes out for Filipinos in Carson and the South Bay
That wouldn’t have made the headlines in West Hollywood.
Venice Beach murder mystery endures: Who buried a man in the sand?
I suspect his kids.
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